


“The Big Talk”

by TsaritsaElena



Series: Superfamily Prompts [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Superfamily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 16:57:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1354858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsaritsaElena/pseuds/TsaritsaElena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the following prompt: <em>Steve and Tony have The Talk with Peter, only to find out that he already knows everything.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	“The Big Talk”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my Tumblr, cleaned up and posted here.
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I don’t own any of these characters or copyrighted material, and I’m certainly not making any money or other material profit off of this fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

Peter shoveled the last mouthfuls of Pop’s lasagna into his mouth, eager to finish dinner and go back to his room. Peter liked this girl in his science class; they were working on a project together and he wanted to call her as soon as he could.

“This was great, Pops! I got a lot of homework I have to finish so, uh, I’llseeyouandDadlaterbye!”

“Have fun!” his dad replied glibly.

“ _Tony!_ ” Pops scolded in a mock-whisper. “We agreed to talk to him together!”

“Oh, _fine_ ,” his dad whined.

As Peter wiped his mouth on his sleeve and stood up to leave, Pop’s voice stopped him.

“Wait a minute, Peter.”

“We need to talk to you,” Dad added, though he didn’t sound enthusiastic about it at all.

Peter reluctantly sat back down. He wondered what could be wrong to warrant this serious of a conversation. Was one of his dads dying? “Are you okay? You’re not sick or dying or something, are you?”

Dad looked surprised but answered, “No, no one’s sick. Or dying. And this isn’t about us. Your pops and I, we want to talk about _you_.”

Oh crap. “Is this about last Thursday?” Peter looked nervous, fidgeting in his seat under the gaze of both his parents. “Because if JARVIS says I snuck out after curfew, he’s definitely a liar and anyway there’s nothing to prov—”

“You snuck out last Thursday while we were gone?!” Pops exclaimed.

Peter winced, realizing his mistake. “No, no, of course not!”

“You better not have, Peter,” Dad warned, crossing his arms.

Exasperated, Pops shook his head. “We’re getting off-track. Peter, you’re fifteen and we know that...” Pops trailed off, his face flushing bright red. He tried again. “You’re going through a lot of hormonal changes at your age and—” He broke off again and looked over to Dad. “Tony, some help here?”

Dad sighed dramatically and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, “I thought _you_ were the one who wanted to do this,” but he spoke up and said to Peter, “What your Pops means is that we think it’s time to have The Talk.” The Talk? “The one about the birds and the bees.”

Oh. That Talk. Oh God, this was about to be the most embarrassing conversation of Peter’s life if he didn’t stop them now. “You know what? I think I’m good. I know how to use the internet. We _really_ don’t need to talk about, really,” Peter insisted nervously. He stood up to make a hasty exit but his pops wasn’t having any of it.

“Sit down, Peter,” Pops said sternly. He waited until Peter sat down before continuing, “I know you don’t want to talk about this but it’s important.”

“No really, Pops, you don’t need to explain the birds and the—”

“Peter,” Dad interrupted, “If you can’t get through a conversation about sex with us, do you really think you’re ready for it?”

“It’s not that!” Peter exclaimed, frustrated that they wouldn’t listen to him. “I already _know_ about the birds and the bees! You’re a little late to the game, dads. I’ve known about it since, like, middle school. When I said I had the internet, I meant that I’ve looked it all up before. STIs are bad, always use a condom no matter what, yadda yadda. I’m not even _dating_ anyone yet! Can I go now?”

Pops frowned. “Sex isn’t only about the practical. It’s about the emotional, too. When you do decide to have sex, it’s important that you do it for the _right_ reasons.”

Dad nodded. “Take it from me. One night stands or even friends with benefits aren’t the way to find emotional intimacy with a stranger, and sex with a partner isn’t the only way to express your feelings for that person. We don’t want you to rush into anything you’re not ready for, Peter. Maybe we haven’t been the best at this whole sex-ed thing so far, but we want you to feel comfortable asking us questions so we can talk openly and honestly about it.”

“That’s not likely if it’s going to be this awkward every time,” Peter mumbled, mostly to himself. Unfortunately, he forgot his Pops had Super Soldier hearing. Nothing got past him.

“That’s our fault for making it into a big to-do,” he said, looking apologetic. “It doesn’t always have to be a big deal. Or, how about this: If you have any questions, you can write us a note and leave it in a box on our dresser, and we’ll talk about it later. I think the more we talk about it, the less awkward it will get.”

“Or you could ask JARVIS to give us the message,” Dad added. “If it’s a technical question, you could even ask JARVIS if you want! He’ll know the answers.”

Peter wondered, “Why would JARVIS—you know what? I don’t want to know.”

Pops tried to refocus the conversation. “Paper notes, JARVIS, whatever makes you comfortable. What do you think?”

Peter thought about it. “I guess I could do that.” It would save him a lot of embarrassment of asking in person, that’s for sure.

“Good. We’ll do that,” Pops nodded, sounding satisfied.

“We love you, Peter,” Dad thought to add. “We just want you to be safe and healthy.”

“I know,” he replied. “I love you too, Dad, Pops. I promise I’ll ask when I have questions. _Now_ can I go? I really do have homework to finish.”

Pops laughed. “Now you can go.”

Peter high-tailed it out of there as fast as he could. As he climbed the stairs to his room, he thought about what his dads had said. It was true that he knew the “mechanics” of sex, but he hadn’t given much thought to the rest of it. He didn’t have any questions yet, but he was glad to know that when he did, he had two great dads he could turn to. Even if they were awkward when it came to The Big Talk.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I meant for this to be funny and then it got all sentimental on me. Although I hadn’t planned on it, I ended up doing research on how to talk to your kids about sex and I thought I’d share my results. [BishUK](http://bishuk.com/), [Scarleteen](http://www.scarleteen.com/), and [Teenage Health Freak](http://www.teenagehealthfreak.org/) are some great resources I found, intended for teens who don’t want to ask their parents, and adults looking for ways to start the conversation with their kids. I especially liked BishUK and I would recommend it to literally anyone 14 and up—teens, young adults, and parents alike. (That’s where I got the idea about the question box from, by the way.) There’s no such thing as too much education, so stay safe and be smart!


End file.
